A Whispering in My Head

It was an overcast, surprisingly frigid day in the hills of Santa Cruz, where occasionally Eve found herself driving the winding roads to distract herself from her pounding thoughts. She was admiring how the drops of occasional rain smashed into her car window while simultaneously trying to pay attention to the slick roads ahead of her. She didn’t quite have an end goal to her drive just yet; her plan was to spend as much time away from her depressing bedroom as she could, before it got too dark and stormy.

Most days of the week she spent her time working at the local library, then immediately coming home and crashing into her pillow ridden bed. She always felt better at work then she did when she was alone in her bedroom. She found that being around her co workers and surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of other fantasy worlds allowed her to finally get away from her mind. Eve had few trusted people she would call friends and recently she wasn’t feeling sociable. Often times the interworking of her mind would have her believe she was unwanted by them or that they were annoyed by every word that came out of her mouth; she felt they were annoyed by her presence.

She drove along the wet roads thinking about how lucky the trees were and what a simple, unconscious life they were given. She was jealous in a way.

She noticed a car driving right behind her, wanting to pass. They began flashing their headlights and Eve thought how absolutely obnoxious they were being. She pulled to the side and was infuriated at them as they held down their horn as they sped past her. She fantasized about slashing their tires throats.

“Fucking asshole.” She said aloud.

She started to feel a tightness in her chest and the all too familiar sadness slowly climb back into her brain. She didn’t understand why she felt the way she did and she didn’t have a name for it which made her feel even more alone.

She found a spot where she could park her car under the looming, dripping trees. They cast a dark shadow where she could lay low and ease her aching mind. She felt consumed by green. The greenery around her found it’s way under her skin and in between each bone. She was enraptured.

Eve let her mind wander. The kind of wander where you aren’t paying much attention to the thoughts, but for some reason they have you gripped. They steal you away from the rest of reality. The time changing on the clock pulled her out of it. It was almost as if the number 2 at the end of 5:22 changed to 3 in slow motion. She ignored it.

Eve let her mind wander. The kind of wander where you become so disengaged from your surroundings it’s as if you’re staring into a black hole. Your eyes start to roll upward; your eyelids start to sag and twitch. The changing on the clock is what pulled her out of it. It was as if the 3 at the end of 5:23 turn back to a 2.. She stared at the clock thoughtlessly for about 45 seconds. She was feeling strange and could hear a faint buzzing. Eve couldn’t tell if it was from outside of her car, inside her car or inside of her head. She started to feel a little confused.

“I don’t quite.. understand..” Eve almost inaudibly mumbled.

She felt her eyes begin rolling back and her eyelids sagging once again. This time the time on the clock stayed the same and she tilted her head back, content with the buzz. She let it consume her.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A movement outside on the dark street pulled her out of it.

The buzzing in (or out) of her head had her feeling somewhat disoriented so she was having a little bit of trouble seeing clearly out her car windows. She strained her eyes, becoming more and more frustrated with the buzz. It felt to her like it was getting in the way. In her head she tried swatting it away, but like a fly it just kept coming back stronger and stronger.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The activity outside she could tell was moving closer to her. She strained her eyes harder. She saw a glimpse of white. As the object moved closer she could she it was a human shape. She began noticing bare legs, and a…

shirt? No.. Dress? God damn noise get the fuck out of my FUCKING BRAIN

Finally she saw it was a girl walking slowly towards her. She was barefoot, hair soaked wearing a white gown of some sort. She was about to open her car door and try to help her when she noticed a second figure. The second figure was also wearing a white gown of sorts, barefoot walking slowly towards her car. Maybe they’re.. a couple? Suddenly she noticed a movement in her rear view mirror and it was another person matching the other two. She could feel the buzzing in her head growing stronger. It felt like there was a bee stuck in her brain trying to dig it’s way out. There was something a little different about the buzzing though as the people came closer. As it grew stronger it began to sound faintly like a very very large crowd of people; they weren’t talking though, it was as if they were all whispering secretly to each other.

Eve started to realize how absolutely strange her current situation was. She didn’t quite know how to feel about it considering she had never been in an experience like it.. While she was struggling to make sense of the obnoxious noise in her head, and the creeps outside her car, she was also noticing that the amount of persons gaining on her had increased; it had doubled, in fact.

The initial crew was about 50 feet from her car. She could make out their hair color which was black and their skin appeared white with smudged dirt as if they were wrestling each other in the mud. Their expressions were emotionless. More and more of them were appearing out of the dark background. Eve’s heart began to race and she finally realized how she was feeling about it all: Thoroughly scared. Fearful.

Her ears began ringing and the noise grew louder and more distinct. It was now a mixture of hundreds and hundreds of voices whispering and an unbearable buzz that was sending her into a downward spiral. Eve’s heart began racing as if she had just finished a 2 mile run. Her throat was slowly but surely closing in on it’s self. Her ears began ringing and the strange “humans” were increasing in volume and decreasing in proximity. There were about 50 visible in front of her and behind. She finally had the brain power to lock her doors. Eve’s shaking hands grabbed for her phone. Her hands were sweating and her phone fell and snuck it’s way in-between her seat and middle console. Fuckin’ god damnit. uuuugghhh my god damn BRAIN! She was slouched over, practically hyperventilating with her fingers digging into her scalp. The whispering was escalating and she felt as if every single one of the things outside was inside of her car whispering dark secrets at her. It sounded like her car was a giant beehive.

As she wiped away the nervous sweat and tears she heard the first thump and scratch at the windows. Slowly she looked up and saw that the people were smashed against her car. Slowly clawing at the windows. Slowly pressing and squishing their heads against the car. They were piling on top of each other, they even made there way on top of her car. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

As they squirmed and slapped and scraped at the car she noticed smears of blood. The blood was dripping out of their noses and eyes and ears and coating her car. Eve’s vision was going blurry everything went into tunnel vision. She felt like her eardrums were going to explode. In that moment she just wanted to die. Please just fucking kill me. UGHHHH FUCK She was moaning and yelling to ease the pain of the moment.

As she yelled at the top of her lungs for everything to just FUCKING STOP everything went silent. Eve could hear a light drizzle on her car windows. A very calming sound. She was drenched in sweat, tear streaked and exhausted. The street was empty. She was so taken aback she began sobbing uncontrollably. The wind was shaking the looming trees outside, causing leaves to fall and land on her window shield. Her breathing calmed and the tears began to slow. She reached for her phone in between the seat but couldn’t seem to find it.. when she turned to look she noticed it on the passenger seat next to her. She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, like you get from a rollercoaster ride. What’s happen..I feel so strange.. She couldn’t remember why she was looking for her phone, or why she thought it was in between her seat. When she looked in the mirror she noticed her eyes were puffy as if she’d been crying. I don’t remember being sad in that way.. I don’t remember crying.. She suddenly realized she was soaking wet from sweat as if she’d just gone on a long hot run. She decided she didn’t have the energy to figure it out. She just sat sitting relaxed, listening to the sound of the rain.

Eve let her mind wander. The kind of wander where you become so disengaged from your surroundings it’s as if you’re staring into a black hole. Your eyes start to roll upward; your eyelids start to sag and twitch. You begin to hear a faint buzzing in the back of your head. She was pulled out when she noticed the 3 at the end of 5:23 turn back to a 2.

One Comment

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  1. Really, really well written! Scared me! You are becoming a real writer, Lexi. 🙂

    Like

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