Falling Into a Lovely Place

About 6 months ago, I felt drained of all my energy. I barely had any inspiration to write music, and the only inspiration I did  have was my dissatisfaction and uncertainty with where my life was heading. Besides with my one friend in the San Jose area at the time who really didn’t do much to satiate my lack of drive and happiness, I spent most of my time alone, at work, or at school. I wasn’t hiking. I wasn’t painting. I was just feeling sorry for myself. Then everything sort of fell apart, and put itself back together again. Me and that friend separated ourselves from each other, I quit my job, and I felt worse than I had in a very long time.

    So  I applied and got hired at a new job, Any Mountain, where I was to begin working in a month or so. Right after I quit my job at Panera Bread, I started to become very aware of the Pacific Crest Trail. I had always known about it, and had always wanted to do it.. But after reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed I realized that if one woman could do it alone, with no experience, I could easily complete the entire trail with my 19 years of experience. I started reading article after article about what I would need to do to prepare, and what I would experience on the trail and I made a decision. I made the greatest decision of my life, up to date. I was going to thru-hike the PCT this upcoming summer. 8 months from then, I would start my 5 month journey from Mexico to Canada. I finally had a goal. A solid goal that would change my life when reached. I would take 1 year off of class, and have the time of my life. I felt a glow form itself around my body; I felt invincible.

     Quickly I became friends with a man in my Music History class and it was refreshing.. When I first met Spencer, I thought he was younger than I was. That quickly turned around, and it’s quite obvious that he’s got a few years on me. To me, he was someone that you always want to be friends with but never have the confidence to really initiate anything. He always strutted into class with a pencil behind his ear, humming a tune, wearing either something that would catch your eye with it’s unique qualities, or in sandals and dirty shorts or just homeless looking attire. It was very intriguing.

     After a couple weeks and a couple few worded “conversations”, if you will, and one full conversation of how I planned to solo hike the entire PCT (and him being aware of what it was unlike most people), I began looking forward to that class even though it was a bit too early in the morning for me. Then, after about.. 4 very mildly put invitations to join Spencer in shenanigans around town, we finally played some music together. After a couple more times of hanging out, card playing and one very spontaneous, night swim in the ocean near Santa Cruz, I realized this dude is who I wanted to surround myself with.

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He began bringing me places to meet his friends and just to talk to new people. I started to feel an unpleasantly familiar weight being slowly lifted off my chest, and being replaced by a warm and mildly euphoric feeling that brought a smile to my face and still does.

     Shortly after meeting Spencer, I met Layla, a fellow singer/songwriter. We began singing together in harmony, and I don’t think I’d ever felt so excited about my music. It felt like we’d sang with each other for years. I’ve never sang with anyone so easily, and it’s a relief to have finally found a musician who understands.

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Four eye opening months later, I felt like a different person. Well.. I felt like the person I used to be 5 years ago when I was full of energy, talkative and ready to take on the world. I finally felt like I’d found my place. For then at least.. I finally had something to look forward to, to save up for, to work hard for: Walking from Mexico to Canada with Spencer Oey whilst falling deeper in love with such a beautiful and confident human being and of course also falling deeper in love with the spectacular world around us.

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